December 3

I Hate Divergent And So Should YOU!

By Devin T

It was Thursday in December, I had been bored out of my mind for a week waiting for the next book in the Warriors series to come out. The Warriors series has been the only thing  been reading since 5th grade. My mother thought it was time for a change, so she went out and bought the most popular book of the year, Divergent. She gave it to me and said “Read something new”.

So the next day at school, when it was reader’s workshop, I pull out the book, only to find out the book I have was the second one. But even tho it was the second one, I read it anyway. I was the only other boy in my class besides my friend Evan to be reading the series. And because of this the sexist girls in my class mocked us for it. Maybe it was the mocking, maybe it was that it made no sense because I hadn’t read the first book. Regardless, I hated the series. But my friend Evan loved the series and was already on the 3rd book. So at lunch, four friends and I were having an intense discussion  our horrible teacher Mrs. *&$#@$, Evan was sitting there reading Divergent, It was insanity, Evan hated Mrs. *&$#@$ even more than us. So I leaned over to him and said “I hate Divergent and so should you.”.

But since I had never understood the books, I decided to use what I know from the Divergent movie. Sadly, I could not convince him that Divergent was a lazy series, so hopefully I can convince you.

Divergent follows a girl named Beatrice Prior. Already there is a problem, who in their right mind names their daughter Beatrice? Beatrice is an old lady name. Not only is Beatrice an old lady name, but it’s the future, when the names should be more “unique”.

Anyway, “Beatrice” lives in a dystopian Chicago, why’s it always Chicago?, where the place is divided into five groups, the Humble Narcissist , the Viral Friendship, the Conspiracy Theorist, the Trolls and the Grammar Police, wait sorry I meant Abnegation (the selfless), Amity (the peaceful), Candor (the honest), Dauntless (the brave), and Erudite (the intellectual). Everyone who isn’t a part of a group are deemed useless and left to starve. When children reach the age of 16, they take a some kind of mix of marijuana, LSD, and crack that can be controlled with a computer.  What. The. Heck. I’ll elaborate some more on that later. So they take this “Mari-S-rack” and how they solve a problem in their dream decides their future group?

That’s not healthy.

Had enough of this story? You wanna leave? Too bad there’s more! If you solved the problem differently than how they wanted you to solve it, it means you are Divergent ( a.k.a that means you’re special). So they kick you out to starve because you’re different. And as you would guess, Beatrice is a divergent. So without spoiling this horrible excuse of a movie, i’m gonna tell you why it’s another waste of time movie.

Let’s start with the forgettable characters, they have no development other than “Four”, I mean seriously, get better names. Beatrice’s best friend Chrissy, no Clair, no Chole, forget it, can only be remembered as the actress’s name Zoë Kravitz. And when Can’t-Remember-Her-Name-But-She’s-Zoë-Kravitz’s boyfriend dies we don’t even care. Nor do we care when anyone else dies because we never got character development on them.

In most movies, you want the main character to win/survive, but in Divergent, you want Beatrice to die. She’s just an annoying character, simple as that. Shailene Woodley just is bad at acting in an action movie and the studio just wanted some quick money.

Now here’s the part we’ve all been waiting for………… The Magic Drug aka “Mari-S-ack”

The drug is a serum that causes the user to fall asleep, produces a psychological test and the physiological test depends on the user. So the drug is some kind of hallucinogen for one thing. And it must also slow down the central nervous system of the user making them fall asleep. So judging by how the drug affects the user, I would say that it’s the liquid form of LSD, but LSD keeps people awake and the drug in divergent makes the user fall asleep. But since this movie takes place in the future all I can say that it is a strong hallucinogen mixed with a strong depressant.

In conclusion, Divergent is generic, lazy, money grab movie that disappoints everyone that was a fans of the horrible books. Glad I hated the books.

 

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Posted December 3, 2015 by 15242 in category Uncategorized

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